BAT2K File 01
by Ten-youko
Summary: See my author bio. A riff of a fanfic--her wranings apply to my riff, as well. Swearing, shounen-ai, and much, much more


BAT2K File 01:

Bodily Fluid Mambo

or

Let's Do the Time Warp Again!

Note: speech in parentheses are meant for thoughts or the like. In this case, it's the conversation between Ten and Tonbo that is NOT part of the chat. ^^; Hope this helps.

[Somewhere on Earth]

Tenshi sat at her computer humming along with "Sekai o Kakumei Suru Tameni," with Tonbo right beside her, reading yaoi over her shoulder.

Ten kept on reading. "Don't you know it's rude to read over one's shoulder, Tonbo?"

"So what?" He questioned. "Hey; you're getting summoned." He pointed to a little post in the corner of her screen.

"Well I'll be damned; it's from Rusty." She clicked on the little icon and a dialogue box popped up.

_Rusty-chan: Oneechan!_

Tenshi: Hi hi imouto-chan! ("Dude! Let me write, too!")

Tenshi: Tonbo: Hi!

_Rusty-chan: What's up?_

Tenshi: The opposite of down. (Tonbo snorted. "That is so old." "So?" Tenshi responded.)

_Rusty-chan: minna: oi --;;;_

Tenshi: ^^v

Tonbo: See? I *told* you it's old!

Tenshi: So?

_Rusty-chan: Sukafu: Would you two be interested in getting a spaceship?_

Tenshi: ::thinks:: Why are you so nice to us now? ::suspicious::

_Rusty-chan: Sukafu: There's nothing to be suspicious about._

That's right! ("I don't trust her." "Me neither, Tonbo…")

Tenshi: What's in it for us?

_Rusty-chan: Bishounen. _(That one word made Ten's eyes light up, but Tonbo shoved his way to the computer.)

Tenshi: Tonbo: What about me?

_Rusty-chan: Sukafu: No school. _(Ten and Tonbo shared a grin.)

Tenshi: We're in.

_Rusty-chan: Wai!_

Tenshi: Tonbo: So when do go?

_Rusty-chan: Right…now. _("What?!")

And in less time than it takes one to say 'flum,' the two disappeared.

The end.

Well, for normal life.

[In the ASOBI]

Ten stretched as she awoke. "Where in the nine hells--"

"Are we?!" Tonbo finished for her, rubbing his lower back. 

"Welcome to the sickbay of your new ship, kids!" The happy new owners turned to a large vidscreen where Sukafu's cheerful face was plastered.

"Thanks, Scarf-chan!" Tonbo replied perkily, glaring at the screen. There was a slight scuffle offstage and Rusty took up the screen.

"Howdy! Welcome to your new home. I'd suggest you get used to *real* quick."

"Or what, you're gonna draw on us?" Tonbo retorted. Ten chuckled.

"Or we're gonna fic now, so nyah!" Tenshi choked and Rusty laughed maniacally. "Sukafu, the switch!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Sukafu flipped a switch, all the while smiling evilly at them.

And nothing happened.

Picking herself off the floor and dusting off her uniform—"Waitaminute… When did we get the cool duds?" Sukafu flipped another switch. The halogen lights switched to black lighting.

"Probably when we were out," Tonbo replied off-handedly as he wandered towards the back of the room. In a highly amused voice, he called out, "Hey! I didn't know that all new ships came with a free fruit!"

"Har har. Remind me to kill you later." A male voice called out and the person stepped out in sight.

"Hokori!" Ten cried. She raced up and hugged him amongst all of the bubbles that another switch had set off. "So good to see you!"

"Oi. Sukafu, the one that has 'Fic Sender' label, Einstein!" Rusty yelled from off screen."

Ten, Tonbo, and Hokori sweatdropped. "Oh! I gotcha!" Sukafu grinned evilly and flipped the switch. The black lights were replaced by flashing green ones. General chaos ensued.

"Ohhhhhh! We've got fiction!"

[Door sequence]

6: An old, crooked man stands before the door telling you that you have to answer three questions. You shove him aside.

5: The room starts filling up with ooze that you can breathe in. Mmm! Tastes like Jell-O! You eat/swim your way to the door.

4: Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyou stand in front of you demanding who is going to be your fiancee. You point and shout out, "Oh my god! Isn't that Weiss?" You run to the door as they squeal and look about.

3: You find a man in red armor wielding a sword and you find out that he's your lover. Oh well. Pat him on the shoulder and tell him that's not until the end of the series and he doesn't need to know that right now.

2: You see five amazing Gundam blocking the door as you walk up to them. They eventually turn out to be the Gundam you made for the Chibi Gundam Pilots. You wave a packet of graham crackers and they happily scamper off with their treat.

1: It's the Rose Gate, but you don't have the Rose Seal. You summon Mikage from somewhere on the ship and he opens the door for you.

[Inside the theater]

Rusty's voice rang out as the three settled down in the front row; Tenshi, followed by Hokori and Tonbo. "Now, pay attention to the Fourth Wall, don't flame the author, and *no* hentai comments with every single line. Got it?"

[ROLL EM!]

Blood Dance —  
Part 1  
by Mina 

Hokori: You mean everyone wrote this?

Tonbo: Stupid American. That would be "Minna."

Standard disclaimers for Gundam Wing apply. Anita Blake and other subsequent 

characters from the Anita Blake series are the property of Laurell K. Hamilton. Suing 

me is pointless, 'cause all of my money goes to supporting my addictions. I'll just let 

you wonder what those are. ^_^ 

Tenshi: Woo! Anita Blake! 

Hokori: Crack? 

Tonbo: Ponbiki? [Tenshi baps Tonbo]

Tenshi: Waitaminute… I know Mina! I email her! So why are we going through this one?

Hokori: [scratches his head] What's going on?

Warnings: Lots of language. I've never been known for a clean mouth. Some very mild 

shounen ai. 

Tenshi: Woo! Shounen ai! 3

Tonbo and Hokori: Oh man…

Tenshi: Oh shut up. You know you like it.

::grins:: Okay, okay, just a couple of little notes here. This first part has actually been 

sitting on my hard drive since . . . oh, 'The Killing Dance'. 

Tenshi: Oh jeez! [winces]

Hokori: So?

In other words: a fricken' long time. It wasn't until I noticed that other people were 

posting GW/AB crossovers that I got up the guts to 

post it. 

Hokori: Ahhh… Succumbing to peer pressure, are we now?

Tonbo: Know what that's like, eh, Hokori? [Hokori hits Tonbo] Itai!

Tenshi: Copycat!

Hokori [Mina]: Copycat? No I'm not!

Tonbo [another AB/GW author]: Yes, you are! I started it!

Tenshi [yet another AB/GW author]: Silence, fools! *I* started it! You *both* are copycats!

Special thanks to K-chan for smacking me upside the head and telling me to quit being lazy and just post the damn thing. Love ya, girl! 

Tonbo: Heh. Uke.

Hokori and Tenshi [singing]: Oo, oo! Pain is so close to pleasure! Oh yeah-h!

Tonbo [K-chan]: [smacks Hokori upside the head] Quit being lazy and just post the damn thing!

Hokori [Mina]: Love ya, girl!

Tonbo [K-chan]: [smacks Hokori upside the head] Love ya, too!

Hokori: Itai. Could I get a pain killer in here?

Tenshi: Bazooka. Wha…?

Hokori and Tonbo: [laughs]

It was an awful day. I didn't even need to open my eyes to know that. 

Tonbo [Duo]: Because my eyelids had been propped open with many pointy toothpicks.

Hokori [Duo]: Ahhhh! Teletubbies! Oh, the horror!

The headache bent on splitting my skull at the temples was a good indication of how 

my day was going to go. 

Tenshi: [grins evilly] Skull-splitting? Sounds like fun. Who are we gonna torture today?

Hokori [headache]: [in a small, helium-induced voice] Yaaaaah! [makes various hacking noises]

Well, that and sound of clacking keyboard keys which was resounding through my head 

like a stampeding herd of obese mammoths. 

Tenshi: [shudders] Oo. Nasty visual. Brain feel dirty. [smacks herself in the head]

With a small whimper I opened my eyes, quickly closing them again with a groan. 

Tonbo: [whimpers]

Tenshi: Alright; who forgot to let the dog out of his mind this morning?!

Hokori: Damn; I knew I forgot something.

Tenshi: Aw jeez! And he made a mess, too!

Fuuuck! 

Tonbo: Where?

Hokori [director]: Cut! That's not until the *next* scene. The *next* one! This is just the prelude to the psychedelic dream sequence!

Yeah, I know. Not the usual morning words of greeting by any standards. But then 

again, this wasn't your usual morning and I'm definitely not what you'd call your usual 

person. 

Tenshi [Duo]: Of course not. Because I'm a Gundam pilot and all the authors like to make me suffer the most because of my tragic past.

[the theater shakes]

Sukafu: The Fourth Wall, Tenshi!

And hey—what do you expect a guy with the hangover-from-hell to say when the first 

thing that he sees is a damn neon yellow smiley face pinned to the ceiling directly 

above his bed? 

Tenshi: "Why the hell do I have a hangover?!"

Tonbo: "Whoa. Why is Wufei's hairtie wrapped around my wrists?!"

Hokori: "What is that purple cow doing to that smiley face?!"

My friends have a sick sense of humor. No, no, that wasn't fair. Trowa would never do 

something as sadistic as this, so it was either Wufei's or Quatre's idea. 

Tenshi: [smirks] Or me.

I was guessing Wufei since Quatre is not a morning person, 

Tonbo [Duo]: And we *all* know why.

and whoever had put that poster up had done it some time after three this morning and 

before—well, whatever time it was now. 

Hokori: Ahh... That higher level of consciousness that all the Gundam pilots are talking about put into action.

Okay, it was probably a lot later than say, noon, but the poster thing just reeked of 

Wufei. 

Hokori: Well, I stand corrected.

Tenshi [Duo]: Phew-wee! Man, Wufei needs to stop using Eau de Battleground!

"Duo, I know you're awake," 

Tonbo: I know where you live. [evil laughter]

a slightly nasal voice said softly. I cringed mentally. Great—he's still here. 

Tenshi [Duo]: How many times do I need to tell the superintendent that he needs to leave *before* my roommate returns?

Hokori: [cringes] That's just not cool.

Tonbo [Akio]: Sekai no hate o misete…kimi ni. [feral grin]

I'd kind of been hoping that the clacking keys were a hallucination brought about from 

my overly enthusiastic efforts to get plastered last night. No, I'm not, I throw back at

him mentally. 

Hokori [Duo]: [mentally] Ha ha! Now see if you can lecture me!

Tonbo [Heero]: [mentally] Why should this stop me? I'm the "Perfect Soldier." [pause] And yes, I've thought about using piano wire before.

Tenshi: Oo. [grins]

Hell, this is all I need to top my morning off, Heero. Godzilla size headache, the smiley 

face of death, and thou. I don't know why I put up with your cold, unemotional shit, 

Heero Yuy.

Tonbo [stoner]: Cuz his shit's GOOD!

"Duo, get up now or I sacrifice your braid to my demon idol." 

Tenshi: [chuckles] You don't need to sacrifice his braid for me.

Hokori: You're his demon?

Tenshi: Well, I *am* a fox *demon*, Hokori. Think about it.

That got my attention. "Touch my hair and _die_, Yuy," I snapped, shielding my eyes to 

toss him my own version of his trademarked Death Glare. 

Tonbo [announcer]: And you too can have a version of Heero Yuy's trademarked Death Glare! Just send 10 million yen in nonconsecutive, unmarked bills to us and you will have your very own sneer!

Duo Maxwell will put up with many forms of torture, but hair threats are my breaking 

point. Hair threats are personally signed death warrants. 

Tenshi [Duo]: [signing] With love, Duo.

But Heero was already ignoring me, back to me as he typed away on his ever present 

laptop. I knew I should have thrown the damn thing out when I had the chance. But 

nooo—I had to go and get sentimental. Ch'. I hate wasting a good threat. 

Tenshi: So do I. That's why I don't waste them.

Tonbo: [big H grin] So when you said "fuck you"...

Tenshi: No.

And what good is threatening a guy if he ignores you? It sure doesn't do much for my 

ego, that's for sure. 

With another groan of protest, I managed to lever myself up into a sitting position, 

blinking my eyes slowly to get used to the light. 

Hokori: I've found that blinking rapidly does much better.

It's not much, thank god. For once I'm glad of Heero's propensity for mushrooming. 

Tenshi: Dude! He *is* Mr. Mushroom!

Tonbo: ...So where's his magic little friends?

With absolutely no grace whatsoever, I stumbled towards the bathroom, tripping over a 

pillow and stubbing my toe on a sock. 

Hokori: What?!

_Don't_ ask. 

Hokori: How can you trip over a *sock*?!

Tonbo [Duo]: I told you not to ask. Now I must kill you.

Tenshi [Duo]: [signing] With love, Duo.

After having brushed my teeth twice to try and get rid of that 'something-crawled-in-

my-mouth-and-died-and -has-already-begun-to-decompose' taste left by last night's 

overly-imbibed alcohol, 

Tonbo: Mmm. Yummy.

Hokori: You're sick.

Tenshi: At least he's not like you after some 'juice.'

I caught sight of my face in the mirror and grimaced. I don't think I've ever looked so 

bad in my life. 

Tenshi: If that's not a load of bull, I don't know what is.

All right, so that's a personal opinion and it comes with having lived in denial for the 

last month plus. I'm sure that Quatre and Wufei will remind me that I've looked much 

worse. 

Tonbo: 5x4x2? Ewwie...

With a sigh, I tugged the hairband from the end of my braid, unraveling the heavy 

twists. I grabbed my hairbrush from the sink counter and wandered back out into the 

bedroom. 

It wasn't much, our current safehouse. It was a large, rundown house that was 

scheduled to be demolished sometime in the near future. 

Tenshi [Anshii]: Oh, don't mind us.

Tonbo [Utena]: No one here but us Revolutionists.

Well, it had actually been scheduled to be demolished for several months now, but with the war going on people felt there were more important things to worry about. 

Hokori: Like, oh, maybe staying alive?

Tenshi: Maybe they ran out of chocolate syrup.

It wasn't bad as far as houses-waiting-to-be-destroyed went. The rooms were bare 

except for the cots we'd managed to sneak in. The ceiling was missing in spots and the 

wall paper was faded and torn in most places. And from what I remember from last 

night, there's a reeeally big hole not far from the doorway. I managed to find it and 

ended up flat on my face. 

everyone: Ouch. [makes various faces of pain]

I was just glad that Heero slept through it. I swear, that guy—thankfully—sleeps like 

the dead. 

Tenshi: [coughing fit] [in-between coughs] Cliché!

The first thing I noticed as I looked about our room was that Heero was gone and his 

laptop had been turned off. The second was a little blue sticky note stuck on the closed 

top. 

Curious, I leaned over to see what it said, eyes widening in surprise even though I 

should have been expecting it. Belatedly, I reminded myself that curiosity killed the cat 

__

and what was left of my sanity. Of course, I've also been told there wasn't much to 

begin with. 

Tenshi: Oi! That's harsh!

Tonbo: [chuckles] "Curiouser and curiouser!"

Hokori [Duo]: But then I reminded myself that this time around I wasn't a cat. Damn, then that means I have to stop giving Heero tongue baths…

That little blue rectangular sticky note is a list—a list that Heero began a month or so 

ago which has been steadily growing. It's not the original list, mind you. 

Tonbo [Duo]: It had words on it like "duct tape," "chains," "oil," and "the rack."

Tenshi: [laughs, coloring slightly]

Hokori: Huh?

The original list had been folded and opened so many times that Heero had to sit down 

and write up a new one less than a week later. If I remember correctly, this was 

actually list number five. Maybe it's six; I'm not exactly sure which. I've been living the 

last month in a haze of sorts and Heero's thrice-damned list isn't helping me much. 

Hokori: So why has he been in a haze?

Tonbo [stoner]: Cuz he's been trying Heero's shit, man.

Tenshi: Ewww...

Why, you ask, does a measly list—a piece of paper with nothing more than a bunch of 

words on it—bother me so much? Here's a hint: it begins with vampire, now ends with 

dryads, and has everything from lamia and necromancer to lycanthropy and _homo _

arcanus in between. 

Tenshi: [purrs] Mmm... Vampires... They're so seductive...

Tonbo: That's it; I'm checking for marks.

Tenshi: [covers her neck with her hands]

I've seen a lot of strange shit in my days as a street brat, terrorist, and Gundam pilot. 

But let me tell you, what's happened to me in the last month since I got Heero back has 

been the icing on the cake. Icing that somehow manages to be sweet and healing, bitter 

and poisonous, all at the same time. You know, kind of like if someone spiked your 

cotten candy with antifreeze. 

Hokori: Mmm... Tastes like chicken.

Tonbo: What's "cotten"?

You see, I lost Heero a month and a half ago—sort of. No, I didn't misplace him or get 

physically separated from him. 

Tonbo: Shit. There goes my line.

Tenshi: Such it is with you, Tonbo. Open mouth, insert foot.

Tonbo: Shut up.

It was a lot more permanent than that. He'd taken on a solo mission and failed—which 

means, in Heero-terms, he'd self-destructed to save the integrity of the mission. And it 

looked like his self-destruct plan had succeeded this time. 

Tonbo: Damn; I hate when things succeed.

Hokori: Hey; he got it back!

Tenshi: That's it. I'm writing a book.

Tonbo: Yeah. "How Tonbo Got His Line Back."

Kaboom. Eighteen high-powered C2 charges set to go of in sync and demolish a mobile 

suit production factory. When that baka realized he was surrounded with no chance of 

escape, he stayed inside the building rather than risking being captured. I sometimes 

wonder if he and Wing aren't hardwired for that kind of thing, self-destructing. I mean, 

Sandrock wouldn't self-destruct with Quatre still in the cockpit, and Deathscythe   
thought I was off my fuckin' rocker for trying to self-destruct the both of us. 

Tenshi: He has a different rocker for that?

Tonbo: With…toys on it. [grins]

See? Even when I'm without my sanity, I can count on Deathscythe to keep both our 

wits about. 

Hokori: That's actually quite sad, Duo.

But we all know that Heero seems to do everything to excess, and the charges he'd 

placed in the factory were no exception. The reports we got after the explosion were 

horrible. There were no survivors. Most of the bodies were charred so badly that they'd 

have to be identified by their dental records. 

Tenshi: Ouch. That ain't a pretty thing.

For three days I sat in front of his laptop; hoping, waiting for the e-mail confirmation to 

come and pick him up. It was awful. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, and Quatre had to 

remind me to go to the bathroom. I was like a vegetable; sitting in front of the laptop 

glow as if it were sunlight, waiting for miracle to occur. 

Tenshi [Juri]: There are no such things as miracles.

Tonbo: [singing] Veggie veggie fruit fruit, veggie veggie fruit fruit, veggie veggie fruit fruit, cha cha cha!

It never happened. 

Tenshi [Juri]: See? What did I tell you?

The others were upset at Heero's loss. After all, he'd been our friend for a long time, 

and much as we hate to admit it, we all looked up to him in a certain respect. 

Hokori: Shit, you guys are twisted.

He might not always have been the most mature one—or the most sane, for that 

matter—

everyone: [falls out of their seat laughing. Rusty-chan pauses the fic so they can calm down. Yea.]

but he was one of us, a Gundam pilot. And more often than not, he was the drive that 

kept us going when we were ready to give up. 

Tenshi: I thought it was because you were trying to bring about peace. Shows how much I know. 

So yeah, I could see where the other guys would be a little distraught . . . but that didn't 

prepare me for the way I would feel when it all finally sank in. I was utterly devastated. 

Heero was my best friend. I'd already nearly lost him once. 

Tenshi: Yeah. That episode made me cry. That, and Deathscythe blowing up, and the last two episodes.

[the ship shakes]

Sukafu: Tenshi! Mind the Fourth Wall!

Tonbo: We're fucking *author avatars*, for Dios' sake! Just the two of us setting foot in here should have blown this thing sky high!

Sukafu: ...Point taken. Still, watch the references.

He'd been lucky to survive when he'd self-destructed Wing. Losing him like that was 

hard—it felt like a personal betrayal. 

Hokori: They're making Duo awfully wishy-washy.

Tenshi [Wufei]: Onna dakara sa!

Tonbo: Are we done with the flashback? I'm getting bored.

I snorted, shaking my head as I sat down on my bed and began to brush out my hair—

no minor chore, that. I keep using the past tense when thinking about him, even though 

I know he had just left the room scant minutes ago. 

Tenshi: Maybe--this is just a theory, now--he is really--[silenced by Hokori]

I should have been prepared for such a possibility with my track record. I tried so hard 

not to care for that brooding, homicidal psychopath. 

But I'd failed—quite miserably, at that. I'd cared much more than I'd realized, 

discovered that when I'd lost Heero I'd lost a part of myself as well. 

Tonbo: Jeezus! Will you quit wallowing already?! You make those of the male persuasion look like an idiot.

Tenshi: He isn't the only one... [grins]

Hokori and Tonbo: Oi!

Those two weeks of living hell . . . saa, I don't like to think about them. I did a lot of 

things that I'm not proud of, things that aren't good to dwell on. Things that, if Heero 

found about, would get me knocked into next week and then locked up in the nearest 

mental ward. 

Tonbo [Duo]: Like boinking Wufei.

Hokori [Duo]: Like becoming a superhero who wears scandalous clothing.

Tenshi [Duo]: I became the Purple Marauder. Nyar!

Tonbo: [shudders] Kowai!

Then had come Quatre's dream. He and Trowa had gone out, some how managing to 

recover Heero's body. I still remember clearly how his prone form looked on the couch. 

He was just as perfect as I had remembered, which had come as quite a shock. I mean, 

I had been expecting anything we found of Heero to fit into one of those gallon size 

Ziploc bags. Easily. 

Tenshi: Mmm... Yummy. Yuy Stewy.

Tonbo: I was thinking more along the lines of Heero Minastrone.

Hokori: [curls inwards away from Tenshi and Tonbo] Please. I just ate before viewing.

Instead, Heero had looked as good as always, just without a pulse. Firm, chiseled facial 

features; full lips, relaxed instead of twisted into a scowl; tumble of untidy dark brown 

hair that I always just wanted to reach out and run my fingers through— 

Tenshi: [purrs loudly]

Hokori: [grins and pets Ten down the back] Pretty youko...

Tenshi: [hisses and Hokori recoils] [goes back to purring]

"Itai!" Figures—pulled too hard on my hair. Only you, Yuy, could make me lose 

concentration on my hair to the extent of yanking. 

Tonbo: [singing] Only youuuuu.....

Well, maybe it was for the best. The pulling distracted me enough to realize where my 

thoughts were heading and those thoughts are best left alone, or they'll have me 

reaching for the bottle again—just as I have nearly every night the past month. 

Tonbo [Duo]: Or for the rag.

Tenshi: Oh man! [baps Tonbo] I don't need to hear about what you do after hours!

Tonbo: Oi!

Hokori: [snickers]

The door opened and I looked up, breath catching in my throat. Heero had come 

back—with coffee it looked like—but it's what he's wearing that'd snagged my full 

attention. 

Tonbo: Absolutely nothing.

Tenshi: [big grin]

Hokori [director]: Cut cut cut!!! I said the *next scene*! Will you two stop thinking from the lower half of your body?

Tenshi and Tonbo: Sorry.

I'm used to seeing Heero in his green tank top and black spandex—occasionally blue 

jeans—ninety-nine point nine fine percent of the time. 

I really should have paid more attention to what he was wearing. Then I could have 

drooled and looked like a besotted idiot in private. 

Tenshi: Daijoubu. You're not the only one. [grins]

K'so! Who'd have thought that Heero Yuy—the 'Perfect Soldier,' Mr. No-nonsense, 

master of death threats and the secrets of hiding a 9mm. in spandex shorts without any betraying lines—could look like sex in leather? 

Tenshi and Tonbo: [raise their hands]

Hokori: How can someone look like sex, anyways?

Tenshi: Hun, just take a good look at him, and Shuri, and Ageha, and Aya… They certainly don't abuse the eye.

I mean, we're talking front cover material for Wet Dreams 'R' Us here! 

Tenshi: [still grinning] Can I get a subscription?

Tight black leather pants which laced up the sides through silver eyelets were tucked 

into mid-calf high black suede boots. His shirt appeared to be made of midnight blue 

silk and the collar of the long sleeve shirt was open just enough to reveal a tantalizing 

flash of smooth skin. There was a patternwork of silver embroidery on the collar and 

cuffs, but my mind couldn't quite focus enough to make out exactly what it was. There 

were silver streaks threaded throughout his dark hair, matching the small silver hoop in 

his left ear—which I hadn't known he _had_—and the silver ring with a dark purple stone 

set in it on his left hand. 

Hokori: Woah. I need to get me some of *that*.

Tenshi: I knew it! I just *knew* he wore a hoop in his left ear! Damn, I'm good!

Tonbo: [grins] No comment.

Tenshi: Man, I need to see if I can pull that one off... Maybe I can ask Mina where she gets her clothes.

Heero stepped closer with the styrofoam cups in his hands, settling beside me on my 

bed. "Here," he said softly, handing one of the cups to me. 

Hokori: He's been talking softly a lot in this fic so far.

Tonbo: He's practicing for his "new mission."

Tenshi [Heero at his "new mission"]: [speaking softly] Hello, this is Heero. Why don't you tell me what you're wearing?

Hokori: Woah... Heero doing phone sex? And pulling it off? That's something I'd like to see.

Tenshi: That's something I'd like to *hear*.

"Um, sankyuu,"[1] 

Hokori: [starts] Woah! Where'd *that* come from?!

Tenshi [Twilight Zone man]: Welcome to a time where things are never what they seem, filled with self-inserts, floating number, and hentai jokes. This... Is the Otaku Zone.

Hokori and Tonbo: [hum TZ theme song]

I muttered, taking the cup after setting my brush aside. Hopefully he hadn't noticed my stupefied 

expression. "What is it?" I asked, sniffing at the opening distrustfully. You can never be to careful when it 

comes to coffee. 

Tenshi: Yeah. It could be dark tea.

Hokori: Or 'juice.'

I mean, the last time someone brought me coffee, it had been laced with some sort of drug that knocked 

me out for half a day. I would never trust a set of big, bright blue eyes ever again. 

Tenshi: Liar.

Especially when they were set in as innocent a seeming face as Quatre's. 

Tenshi: [laughs]

How the hell did he know about all that herbal shit, anyway? 

Tonbo: Uh, maybe because he's Arabian and they know that kind of stuff?

Hokori: Plot contrivance. 

[the theatre shakes]

Hokori: Eeep! Sorry!

Heero smiled faintly, dark blue eyes flashing with what looked suspiciously like amusement. "Coffee-

black. No one put anything in it," he promised me. 

Tenshi: Oh no! He's trusting big, bright blue eyes!

I grinned, taking a hefty swig. "Hot!" I managed to get out after a moment, tongue feeling numb from the 

heat. 

Tonbo: No shit, Sherlock.

But hey, it's coffee! Nothing helps me regain focus the morning after like black coffee. 

Tenshi: Even better: Green tea. Mmm...

Tonbo: Or coffee with milk and sugar. Mmm...

Hokori: Or cappuccino. Mmm...

everyone: Mmm... Say, can we get snacks here?

Tenshi: [stands] Okay. I say we break for goodies.

Tonbo and Hokori: Hai hai!

[Door Sequence]

6: The Rose Gate opens, but won't close. You wrack your brain until you remember the garage door opener. How silly of you!

5: You can't help but smile when you see the five Chibi Gundam pilots in a puppy pile asleep, seeing as how they've had their snack.

4: You give your lover a pat on the head and write the word "SPOILER" in big black letters with your marker.

3: Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyou don't look too thrilled at you. You give them chocolate and flowers and they all inspect it like it's poison or otherwise trapped, giving you the time to run away.

2: You go Beserker and smash through the door. What, were you expecting something longer?

1: You give the grumpy old man Spam and he brightens up.

[ASOBI]

Ten stretched as she left the theatre. "Well, that's not too bad, now is it?"

Tonbo cracked his knuckles. "Nope. We've read worse." He looked around the hallway they were now in. "So, uh, how do we find our way around here?"

Hokori stifled a yawn behind his hand and replied, "You can always ask a bishounen running around. Or Midori. Or Kat."

"Nani?! You mean my RP character is stuck here, too?" Ten asked him incrediously.

**That I am, Ten.**

"There's no mistaking that mental voice. Kat!" The girl hugged the short blonde.

**Is it safe to say 'nice seeing you'?** Ten laughed at the older woman's question.

"So, where can we get some goodies?" Tonbo asked, forgoing pleasantries. "Our talking about good drinks makes me hungry!"

Hokori chuckled at Tonbo's bluntness. "What doesn't make you hungry?"

Tonbo grimaced. "Straight Gundam Wing fics." Everyone blanched.

**Gotcha. Get back to the theatre; you can call from there, you know.**

"Well I'll be damned… Nice stretch though," Ten idly mumbled.

[Door Sequence]

6: An old, crooked man stands before the door telling you that you have to answer three questions. You shove him aside.

5: The room starts filling up with ooze that you can breathe in. Mmm! Tastes like Jell-O! You eat/swim your way to the door.

4: Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyou stand in front of you demanding who is going to be your fiancee. You point and shout out, "Oh my god! Isn't that Weiss?" You run to the door as they squeal and look about.

3: You find a man in red armor wielding a sword and you find out that he's your lover. Oh well. Pat him on the shoulder and tell him that's not until the end of the series and he doesn't need to know that right now.

2: You see five amazing Gundam blocking the door as you walk up to them. They eventually turn out to be the Gundam you made for the Chibi Gundam Pilots. You wave a packet of graham crackers and they happily scamper off with their treat.

1: It's the Rose Gate, but you don't have the Rose Seal. You summon Mikage from somewhere on the ship and he opens the door for you.

[Take Two! Aaaand….Action!]

I set the coffee down and picked my brush back up, beginning to brush out the snarls 

on the right side. 

Tenshi: [into a comm unit] Well I'll be damned... Yosh'. A green tea with honey for me.

Tonbo: [leaning over] And I'll have a chai freeze.

Hokori [Duo]: [singing] You put the coffee down, you pick the brush back up, you put the brush back down and you shake it all about. You do the Holy Shmoly and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!

Tenshi: [eyes Hokori nervously] And a chamomile tea for Hokori. No sugar.

I was watching my hand intently-Heero was still sitting beside me on my left, I was 

brushing the opposite side of my hair. 

Tonbo: [in an English accent] Pansy.

It was so hard to resist the temptation of looking at Heero, but I was determined to 

succeed. If I'm never known for anything else in my life, I can be secure in the 

knowledge that I'll always be known for my stubbornness. 

Tenshi: Damn straight!

I felt the barest touch on my hair and stiffened slightly. Relax, Maxwell, I told myself. 

You're so paranoid that you'd jump seeing your own shadow. It was probably nothing, 

just me shifting on the ends of the hair or something. 

Tonbo: Riiiight.

Tenshi: He's in denial.

Hokori: [singing] Paranoia, paranoia, everyone's commin to get me...

I went back to brushing, watching the individual teeth of the brush part through the 

strands of my hair. 

Hokori [brush]: Part, fiends! A plague on your houses!

Tenshi: [eyes Hokori] [into a comm unit] Are you sure there was no sugar in that?

Kat: **Of course, Ten. Sorry.**

Tonbo: Shiiiit...

I was beginning to grow tired of the medium brown color; maybe I would do something 

about it before I went on my mission tonight. With a heartfelt sigh, I began to count my 

brush stroke: juuhachi, juukyuu, nijuu, ni- 

Tonbo: [grins insanely]

Tenshi: [reaches over Hokori and smacks Tonbo upside the head]

Hokori [Duo]: Damn! I'm outta digits! [wiggles fingers and toes]

Tenshi: [smacks Hokori]

Hokori: Oi!

My eyes widened in surprise, my hand stilling completely. I could clearly feel _that_. 

Tonbo: [still grinning insanely]

Hokori: [smacks Tonbo upside the head]

Heero was running his fingers through the hair on the other side of my head, and as I 

watched from the corner of my eye, he brought the ends up between his fingers, gazing 

at them in what appeared to be avid fascination. 

Tenshi: Hey! Just because he has enhanced sight does *not* mean that everything is so fascinating to touch and see up close!

Tonbo and Hokori: [eye Tenshi nervously]

Tenshi: ...Not like I would know anything about that. Nosireebob!

Personally, I'd never thought of the shade my hair currently was as particularly 

interesting. I mean; it's brown. It's boring. And it's supposed to be that way. So what did 

Heero find so damn captivating about it? 

Hokori: The fact that it's connected to a nice, delicious-looking piece of manflesh?

Tenshi and Tonbo: [eye Hokori warily]

Hokori: Well, isn't that what the author's going for?

"Um, is there something you wanted?" I asked carefully. Hell, I wasn't sure about that 

look in his dark blue eyes. It was kind of scary. And it looked a lot like that really 

intense one he used to give me right before he'd punch me. 

Tenshi: But he only does that if provoked, hun.

Tonbo: Yeah, like when...[stops] Whoopsies.

Heero shook his head, letting my hair slip from his fingers. "Iie." 

I shifted nervously. He may have let go of my hair, but he hadn't moved from his 

position beside me. As a matter of fact, he'd shifted closer. I could now feel the line of 

his thigh pressed against mine. 

Tonbo: [chanting] Heero's the seme! Heero's the seme!

Hokori: [chanting] Wufei bust in! Wufei bust in!

Tenshi: [chanting] Steal his heart! Steal his heart!

Tonbo and Hokori: [stop chanting and eye Tenshi warily]

Tenshi: Ehehehe... Whoops. Sailormoon Super flashback.

Damn, I thought. He's awfully touchy-feely today. Not that I particularly minded or 

anything. 

Tenshi: Hell, who *would* mind?!

Hokori: Wufei?

Tonbo: Well, we haven't come across one of those yet, that I know of...

Hell, under normal circumstances I would have died of happiness-and probably utter 

shock-if Heero wanted to touch me. Right now it just seemed . . . weird, somehow. 

Tonbo: It couldn't be the fact that he's wearing leather right now, is it?

Hokori: Nawww... It's probably the herbal stuff in the coffee.

Tenshi [Duo]: Ooo.... Psychedelic dream sequence...

"Oi, Heero, if you don't mind me asking . . ." 

"Hn?" Heero looked at me with a raised eyebrow, fingers rubbing absently-and 

seductively, dammit!-across the bared flesh of his throat. 

Tenshi: [sighs]

"Why are you dressed like se-_anooou_, I mean, that?" Woah, almost slipped up there big 

time, Maxwell. Yep, he probably would have decked me into next week if that had 

finished popping out of my mouth. 'Why are you dressed like sex?' 

Hokori: Again, how can one be "dressed like sex"?

Tenshi: Yes, he woulda.

Tonbo: After, of course, "explaining" why to Duo. In full detail.

Hokori [director]: Cuuuut! Not until the *next scene*, people!

What can I say-Freudian slip? Somehow, I don't think that excuse would stand up in the 

Heero Yuy Court of Law. 

Tenshi: With Wufei as judge.

Hokori: And Trowa as the jury.

Tonbo: And Quatre as the defense!

Heero cocked his head to the side, eyes closing halfway as he watched my hand run the 

brush through my hair-at least I think that's what he was watching. 

Tenshi: [slaps herself] I think I'll refrain from saying anything for my sanity's sake.

Tonbo: Man, you need to be--[silenced by Tenshi, after, of course, knocking Hokori down]

"Shin ninmu," he said softly.[2] 

Tonbo: Argh! What's with him speaking softly all the time?!

Hokori: [holds his ears] Maybe to balance the sound level out?

[the theatre shakes lightly]

Hokori: Whoops. Kat, may I have a pain killer?

Kat: **Coming up.**

I spluttered in shock, my eyes feeling as if they were popping from my face. Hell, for 

all I knew, they might be. "You're dressed like _that_ for a fucking _misson_? Goddamn-

what kind of a mission _is_ it?" 

Tenshi: You just answered it yourself, hun.

Heero smirked at me, dark blue eyes narrowing as he watched my face, and I could feel 

myself just melting into a puddle on the bed at that sexy smirk. Yuck. It's really 

disgusting what he does to me; just disgusting. 

Hokori: But it's a good bad, ne?

Tenshi: Damn straight.

Maybe I should check myself into the nearest mental ward and save everyone else the 

trouble. 

Tonbo: Ganbatte ne! 

Tenshi: [smirks] Why? It's more fun to put others there first...

Hokori: Kowai.

"Sore wa himitsu desu," he said mysteriously, rising from the bed.[3] 

Tonbo: Xelloss???

Hokori: Ahhh! There's that floating number again! [jumps in his seat]

Tenshi: Chill, Hokori. You didn't react to the previous one.

Tonbo: [hums "Time Warp"]

"A secret?" I blinked in surprise before I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just what's that 

supposed to mean? Since when do you keep you're missions a secret from me-" 

Everyone: Whoops, Duo!

We both froze as that last word slipped from my lips. My brush slipped from my 

fingers, clattering noisily against the floor. To my ears it seemed to resound like a gong 

through temple halls, but I didn't really pay attention to it. 

Tonbo [Duo]: Because I was wondering how in the hell that percussionist had sneaked into our hideout, into our room, with a *full-sized gong*.

I'd gone to staring fixedly at my hands which were now clenched in my lap. I'd been 

careful-so careful these last few weeks not to say anything. I guess I was bound to slip 

up some time-but why right now? I still wasn't ready to deal with it yet. I wasn't sure I 

ever _would_ be. I mean, who's ever really ready to deal with their best friend-who also 

happens to be the boy they love-dying one day and coming back from the dead a couple 

weeks later? It's not like it's an everyday occurrence or anything. 

Tenshi: [glares at the screen] Damnit! You're making Duo weak! He wouldn't be this off-kilter!

I was so absorbed in my own chaotic thoughts that I didn't notice Heero's weight settle 

beside me on the bed once again. 

Hokori: When had Heero gotten up?

He grabbed my chin in his hand, forcing my eyes up to meet his. You know, I 

sometimes think that I could stare into those endless pools of prussian blue darkness 

forever, drowning in their depths happily. Like a deer caught in the headlights of an 

oncoming vehicle, I couldn't turn away. 

Tenshi: Who *would*?!

Heero smiled-it was a small, sad smile, but a smile none the less. "Daijoubu, Duo." He 

said it softly, holding my gaze the whole time. 

Tonbo: There he goes again with his 'phone sex' voice.

His words echoed through my head like a mantra-one that, once it pierced the fuzzy 

haze I had been existing in, sent the whole barrier crumbling down. 

Tenshi: [singing] Broadway is dark tonight, a little bit weaker than it used to be!

"God!" Yeah, I know that I profess not to believe in Him, but in the enormity of my 

situation, it was something of a comfort to say His name even if He were nothing but a 

figment of humanity's mass imagination. 

Tenshi: What fools these mortals be.

I closed my eyes, the tears slipping free at last. I'd kept them pent up too long-I knew 

that. Hell, I hadn't cried at all those two weeks prior to recovering Heero's body. I 

couldn't. I did cry . . . that night . . . but those were tears of relief. This was something 

else. And without my Great Wall of Duo to protect me and keep the bad thoughts out, I 

was like a little lost child in the wilderness after dark. 

Hokori: [watches, nonplused] It *does* get better, right?

Tenshi: Yeah. Just wait for it...

Tonbo: [asleep]

"No, Heero, it's not all right!" I couldn't help it. Heero was looking at me with such-

emotion. 

Hokori: No dash needed.

There are times when I think that nothing will ever be okay again, because I know that 

nothing can be as it was before Heero's accident. I tore my face away from his hand, 

curling over onto my side, bringing my knees up and burying my face into them in a 

fetal position. 

I felt like a complete idiot, falling apart in front of Heero like this. 

Tenshi: [snorts] Well, maybe because you look like one, too?

Hokori: Oo. Harsh.

Tenshi: That's it. Next time, I want a bastard Duo fic!

I expected him to leave the room, leave me all alone with my tears and my pain. He's 

never been comfortable with emotions, and I was exercising enough of them at the 

moment for the entire dorm floor of the boarding school we'd vacated last week. 

Everyone: [blinks]

Hokori: ....Whuzzat in English?

Tonbo: I dunno. It wasn't in Japanese.

So, needless to say, I was shocked when an arm snaked around my chest drawing me 

back against the hard length of Heero's body. 

Tenshi [quoting someone from Escaflowne]: This is Nina... Give him a kiss; put a little love into it.

Tonbo: Oh, really now...? [big hentai grin]

Hokori: Alright, that's it! I quit! [gets up to leave]

Rusty-chan: I don't think so, Hokori.

Tenshi: [to Tonbo] Where's Sukafu?

Tonbo: [grins] Break. Just guess.

Tenshi: [snickers]

Rusty-chan: You two stop that!

His other hand was running through my hair as he whispered over and over into my ear, 

"Daijoubu, daijoubu." 

Tenshi: [heaves a big sigh] [purrs]

Blindly I turned, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face in the crook, 

hot tears leaking into the fabric. I wanted to believe his words so badly. I wanted to 

believe that after everything we'd been through-all five of us-over the past year-plus, 

we'd come out of it on top. That we'd make it through all right, surviving anything this 

bitch of a war threw our way. 

Tonbo: Dude, Duo needs to get off the estrogen.

Hokori: He needs a bitchslap, too.

Tenshi: [singing] Yesterday I cried. Must've been relieved to see a softer side...

Heero just held me, rubbing one hand soothingly up and down my back while the other 

kept me close, as if Heero were afraid I'd try and leave. Hn. Where would I have gone? 

Truth told, there's no place else that I would rather be than where I was right now. 

Heero was warm and real, a tangible thing in my arms. I needed to touch such a reality 

at the moment, otherwise I might lose the tentative hold I'd been existing on 

completely. 

Tenshi: [sighs]

Tonbo: Isn't this copyright infringement of Harlequinn?

Hokori: [shrugs] Aren't *all* 5-cent romance novels the same?

Tonbo: Point taken.

Tenshi: Shut up. I want some sap--leave me alone.

Tonbo and Hokori: Okay! [stand up]

Rusty-chan: Ladies!

Tonbo and Hokori: Eep! Yes, ma'am. [sits down, cowed]

Tenshi: Feh. Pansies.

When the tears and my trembling finally stopped, I was afraid to look up. I was afraid 

of what I would see in Heero's eyes; that I'd see pity for the poor, overly-emotional 

Gundam pilot. "G-gomen nasai," I whispered, closing my eyes tightly. "Hontou ni, 

hontou ni gomen nasai."[4] "For what?" Heero asked. "There's nothing to be sorry for, 

Duo." 

Tenshi [Heero]: Except for that awful acting.

Tonbo [Duo]: Aw, how'd you know I was just faking it?

Tenshi [Heero]: I think it's the fact that you're massaging my--

Rusty-chan: Oneechan!

Tenshi [Heero]: --*neck* like that.

Hokori: Nice save.

Tenshi: Thanks.

I looked up suspiciously at the tone in his voice. It sounded as if he were being sincere. 

"I'm serious," Heero said earnestly as I stared up at him with suspicion evident all over 

my face. "There is absolutely nothing for you to be sorry for, Duo." He smiled softly, 

brushing bangs from my eyes and tucking strands of wayward hair back behind my 

ears. "When I get back, we'll talk about this." 

Hokori [Duo]: It was then that it hit me that either (a) There had indeed been herbal goodies in my coffee, (b) I was trapped in some twisted, yet tempting alternate universe, or (c) Heero was taking a shitload of drugs.

Tonbo [stoner]: The last one! His shit's goooood.

Tenshi: I vote for (d) Heero was still practicing for his "new mission."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he quickly covered my lips with his finger, giving 

me a stern look. 

Tenshi: [growls] Dammit! Not a finger! Lips! We want shounen-ai!

Tonbo and Hokori: "We"?

Tenshi: Yes. Don't lie to me, children.

"We _will_ talk about this, Duo, make no mistake about that. But I need to get going, and 

you need to get ready for your reconnaissance mission with Wufei." 

Tonbo: [grins] 1x5x2!

Hokori: I never knew Duo was so popular.

Tenshi: I personally think he's bi....

Still scowling, I pulled back slightly, rubbing my sleeve across my eyes and nose. 

"Wufei and I aren't supposed to leave until seven. I have plenty of time to get ready," I 

muttered. 

Heero smirked, quirking an eyebrow. "And just what time do you think it is, sleeping 

beauty?" he drawled. 

I glanced at the blinds, noting the filtered sunlight that spread across the floorboards. "I 

dunno. Two or three in the afternoon I suppose." 

Tonbo: Ha! You didn't take into fact that the dust motes were dancing a lot slower than they do at that time of day! You suck!

Heero's smirk broadened and I briefly thought about smacking him. I didn't like being 

smirked at; it made me feel smaller than I really was. 

Everyone: [break out laughing]

Tonbo [Duo]: [still laughing] But it's not the size that counts!

"Try seventeen-hundred, Duo. I know how long it takes you to get ready for a night out; 

you'd better start now or Wufei will drag you out without your hair being done." 

Tenshi: [mock shock] Oh no!

I blinked dumbly. "Seventeen . . . hundred . . . _K'so_!" I wailed, jumping from the bed 

and running for my carrisack. Briefly I wondered how I'd managed to sleep so late. 

Tonbo: Briefly I wondered why some authors are so cheap and use an apostrophe instead of a *single* *letter*.

[the theatre does a little jig]

Tonbo: I'm not apologizing!

After rummaging around and grabbing my towel, shampoo, and conditioner, I turned 

back around to find Heero laughing at me softly. 

Tenshi: There he goes with that soft shit again!

"Nan da ka?" I asked, eyes narrowing. It struck me as a little odd that Heero was 

laughing at me. Well, not really _odd_. I mean, of all the people in our little group to 

laugh at, I'm probably the best candidate and all. But what was so damn funny? 

Hokori: [sarcastically] Uh... This may be a wild guess, but, um... You?

Heero just shook his head. "Iya, betsuni," he said softly, waving a hand in dismissal.[5] 

"Hn." I began to move past him towards the bathroom, being stopped short when he 

grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I almost let out a very undignified eep 

when I found myself nose to nose with Heero. 

"Hee-Heero," I stuttered uncertainly, blinking in confusion. Shit, Heero's weird 

behavior was seriously starting to freak me out. 

Tenshi: Oh, but I'd like to be that far away from Heero... [purrs]

Hmm . . . I wonder if Quatre slipped something into _his_ coffee. 

Tonbo: Yosha! Choice number (e)! [starts chanting] Number E! Number E!

Tenshi and Hokori: [eye Tonbo, sweatdropping]

Tonbo: Err.... Forget that 'number' bit, okay?

Heero just stared at me for a long moment, then closed his eyes and shook his head 

again. Much to my surprise, he pulled my head down and pressed his lips to my 

forehead. I almost passed out cold. My eyes went wide and if it weren't for the fact that 

it was my only hand hold on reality, I would have dropped my shower stuff. 

Tonbo: Damn.

Tenshi: I would have. 

"Be careful tonight, _mon petit_," Heero murmured, before turning and striding out the 

door of our room.[6] 

Tenshi: Aiya! Foreshadowing! Cliché! Dead give away!

Hokori: [lost] Huh?

Tonbo: If you don't know, you don't need to.

Tenshi: Damn. All there needs to be now is a...nevermind.

Hokori: A what?

Tenshi: I won't tell you.

I sat down carefully on my bed, still blinking dumbly at the door that had closed on 

Heero's backside. What the hell was going on? It was like I'd woken up in the fucking 

Twilight Zone today. 

Tonbo: We've already established that a few good times.

Tenshi: Oh, and Hokori hasn't freaked out for some time now.

Hokori: Huh?

Tonbo: [blinks] Yep. We're *all* in the fucking Twilight Zone.

Tenshi: [hums the opening theme]

Tonbo: [throws some moans in there]

Hokori: What?!

Tonbo: Well, it's a "fucking" Twilight Zone... [grins]

And when the hell had he learned French? 

Tenshi: [bounces angrily in her seat] Dipshit! Don't you *read*?!

A glance at the clock I'd buried under yesterday's shirt confirmed that it was indeed 

after five in the evening. I'd need to shower fast if I wanted to be ready in time to meet 

Wufei. One of his few drawbacks is that Wufei's a real stickler for punctuality. 

Tonbo: Heh heh. "Stickler." 

Hokori: So he pulls it out to be punctual?

Tenshi: [laughs]

Besides; there was no way in hell I was going into this particular little mission without 

looking my absolute best. 

Tonbo: Damn. I thought so!

Tenshi: Nani?

Tonbo: That "new mission" isn't what you think but in actuality a strip joint!

Tenshi: [gasps] Masaka!

Hokori: No, that *is* Heero's mission. It's Duo and Wufei's mission to "infiltrate" a strip joint.

Tenshi and Tonbo: Ahhhh...

As I walked into the bathroom and shut the door, a niggling thought that had been 

suppressed by the strangeness of Heero's behavior finally jumped into the forefront of 

my mind. 

  
Tenshi [Duo]: "When was there a video camera installed in the shower stall?"

Tonbo [Duo]: "Since when have I been the uke?!"

Hokori [Duo]: "Where did Heero pick up that little gem of swirling his tongue?"

"When the fuck did Heero get a demon idol?" 

Tenshi: [blinks] Why, for quite some time now.

[1]. ::grins:: Duo sounds so cute when he says thank you like that. 

Tonbo: He's just cute, period.

Tenshi: That's not the right word.

[2]. "I have a new mission." 

Everyone: [falls over laughing for the second time. Rusty-chan pauses it--again. Yea.]

[3]. "That's a secret." 

Tonbo: But this isn't.

Tenshi: LOL!

Hokori: Puns are our own reword.

[4]. Basically, Duo's apologizing to excess-which happens to be a common Japanese 

trait. "I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry." 

Tenshi: Yeah. Excess is very frequent.

Tonbo: [singing] Excess, excess, it's the best. Put your mother to the test!

Hokori: [sweatdrops] That's "incest," doofus.

[5]. It translates to something like "It's nothing, don't worry about it." 

Tenshi: Shinpai shinai ze.

Hokori: Huh?

Tonbo [Dub Tenshi]: Don't worry 'bout it.

Tenshi: Oi.

[5] "My little one." It's the same as when Jean-Claude calls Anita 'ma petite', but in the 

masculine form. 

Hokori: Ahhh! Deja vu!

Tenshi: Let's do the Time Warp again!

[Tenshi and Tonbo do the Time Warp]

Let me know if there's anything else I need to translate. And give me feedback, 

kudasai. A lot, 'cause I need plenty of incentive to work harder.

Tonbo: That's either "Feeback, kudasai," or "Feedback, onegaishimasu." What you just said is redundant.

Tenshi: [grins] You want incentive? Here's one; it smells pretty.

Hokori: [sniffs at the "incentive"] Mmm... Smells like Teen Spirit!

Tonbo: Yosh'! Ikuzo!

[everyone leaves the theatre]

[Door Sequence]

6: The Rose Gate opens, but won't close. You wrack your brain until you remember the garage door opener. How silly of you!

5: You can't help but smile when you see the five Chibi Gundam pilots in a puppy pile asleep, seeing as how they've had their snack.

4: You give your lover a pat on the head and write the word "SPOILER" in big black letters with your marker.

3: Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyou don't look too thrilled at you. You give them chocolate and flowers and they all inspect it like it's poison or otherwise trapped, giving you the time to run away.

2: You go Beserker and smash through the door. What, were you expecting something longer?

1: You give the grumpy old man Spam and he brightens up.

[ASOBI]

"Saa, koko ni oide; boku no me no mae ni…" Tonbo sang under his breath as the three mighty author creations followed this soft sound.

"So, Hokori, you were saying something about Midori. Who's that?" Ten asked the other man.

"She's the AI system of the ship's main computer. She's pretty spiffy; she gave us the trendy uniforms."

"Heee…! Sou ka." Ten grinned. "Midorisan?"

"Yes?" A voice responded.

"Could I have a map and directions to where the sound's coming from?"

"Oh. That?" Midori asked. "That's simple. You already know the directions and everyone's over in the main hall. You better hurry; 'Take Off to the Sky' is up next."

"Sugoi! Saa, ikou yo!" Ten yelled, running. The two men looked at each other, sweatdropped, and jogged after the girl.

"And just think, she's the captain," Hokori threw out.

"We're all in deep shit, aren't we?" Tonbo responded.

[end file]

Author's Notes:

He he! [grins] My first riff, *finally* done! Wai! [clears throat] Anyway, I have Mina to thank, because she gave me the okay to rip her ficcie to shreds. [smacks Mina upside the head] Get off your lazy ass and post it! Ten needs more to read!

[sighs] Well, the first one down of a continuing series that I'm hoping Mina will give to me. [Clampy eyes] Onegai?

Saa, you got comments? Stray bishounen? Fics for me to riff? Well, send them all to me! [laughs maniacally]

Now, for the shit you might already know. The only things here that are mine are Tenshi, Tonbo, Kat, ASOBI, Midori, this specific concept, and the riffing job. All others are properties of Rusty-chan, Mina, Sunrise, Bandai, et al.

What the hell was going on? It was like I'd woken up in the fucking Twilight Zone.


End file.
